Three Things

The way I see it, there are three things that determine most of the satisfaction in one's life. Those three things would include occupation, quality of life, and relationships.

Currently I am still working at the GAP Outlet, and looking for a new job with more hours and more recognition and fairness. On August 8th, I had a job interview at Express in a larger mall. It was a group interview. I interviewed with 4 other girls, who were significantly under-qualified in comparison to me.

It wasn't until yesterday that they called me back to give me the good news that they wanted to hire me. I knew they would call, but there are other things going on that are keeping me stuck at the GAP. Thank goodness they they put me on a waiting list. The bad part, I lose the chance if I wait more than a month.

This is where we move onto quality of life. As you previously saw, I am dissatisfied with my job. My job is having a major impact on my quality of life. My hours are inconsistent therefore I never know how much money I will have coming in and what I will have extra or if I will even have what I need to pay my bills.

My car is falling apart on top of all of this, and I don't have any money to replace it at the time. I'm trying to get financed for a replacement but so far, no luck. I need to get a new job to get more money but I can't get a new job because there will be NO way of getting financed if I've only had a job for less than a year.

So at this point in my story I have a job that I hate and a chance to get a new job that I can't take but wish I could because it would improve my quality of life that is so low because of the dissatisfying job that I have. Keeping up? Hope so.

Relationships would be the last piece that determines the satisfaction in one's life. Some people might even argue that it can make everything better even when everything else if fucked up. I think I might believe that if it happened to me... but it hasn't.

Aneta is pissing me off in every direction, she's had this attitude since I turned 18 like, "Do it on your own." On the other hand Madame Dupont is such a lazy bitch that I can't bare to be home when she is. And just to throw it out there, they need to get it on already. Damn dikes.

Then we have Charles and his lover who now live together and bicker incessantly. They're driving me up a wall. They both come to me and talk shit about one another. They should just break up or stop being such catty queens. I can't handle the stress of lying to each of them when they ask if the other says the same things.

Stevenson is last. Stevenson is the reason that I haven't written lately. I feel as if he doesn't approve of this blog or anything that I have to say in it. I know the first time that I had mentioned him, it wasn't really in good context but who's fault is that? Not mine.

I haven't seen him in about two weeks which is a little frustrating but it's almost done and has passed quicker that I had expected. We've hardly spoken over these two weeks, and I don't really know why? OH WAIT! I DO! Because he ignores me. He said we'd skype, but that never happened even when I suggested it. He hasn't called me once, he's just bbm'd me infrequently. I can't even get a well written sentence (but his Facebook and Twitter can).

I thought that getting mad might make him see that he's fucking up... I was wrong. He apologized and the next day, things were the way I hoped they wouldn't be. Then I tried the opposite approach. I then told him not to text me until he came home, then after not speaking most of the day, I apologized to him letting him think he had me around his finger. That didn't work either.

Now here I sit writing this blog, while he thinks I'm sleeping because I'd rather just know why he's not talking to me. I found out a few other things that I would have liked to know sooner and he didn't seem to care about how I felt about that.

One might call my life chaotic, but this shit is just a straight up disaster. Everything is falling apart faster than I can build it back up. I'm putting so much effort forward and gritting my teeth, but I can't bare to be under this much pressure anymore.

I should really give up trying to satisfy all three pieces at the same time, but it would just be torture to myself if I let one keep getting worse in order to salvage another.

I'm just a real ass bitch in a fake ass world.

Work

I arrived at GAP Outlet around 1:50PM. I was 10 minutes early for my shift, which was only 5 hours long.

The day started off well since I wasn't zoning or on register. I was working with most of the people I don't like, until 3 new people that I don't really know at all came in shortly after. A manager that I always have to keep in check was closing, but that's alright since I really do enjoy running the store unofficially.

I was putting away clothes when I took a moment to listen to the music. The following lyrics played:

"I hate my job."

I can't say that I hate my job at all. As a matter of fact, I am IN LOVE with my job. I am a retail whore. I live for this shit on a daily basis. A lot of what I do is so that the store is a success. Most of my coworkers do their job because they get paid. In part, I show up for the check but genuinely I do adore the customers, the hustle and bustle, and the all around knowledge of knowing I made something happen.

Now I would proclaim that I am the best at my place of employment, but that wouldn't be fair to others. I have not been told that I am the best, and several other coworkers of mine have been voted employee of the month.

I am the self-proclaimed best person at GAP Outlet. I am able to do any task well, not to mention quickly. I'm efficient in everything I do. I know the dos and don'ts.

Good guys finish last? I forgot

It looks like I'm going to be waiting a little while for the recognition that I've earned.

At least I'm not holding my breath, waiting.

Applications

Upon filling out applications for college I thought about the varieties of applications that exist in our world. We have those that are crucial and those which may be considered unofficial.

I suppose that college applications fall under the category of those which are crucial. In college applications not only do you need to accurately and properly fill out information, but you need to effectively represent yourself and set yourself apart from the masses. I wrote my college essay while pulling an all nighter. I was on my 4th cup of coffee, and it was around 4AM. I write my best when I am under pressure and need to make a lasting impression. On Monday, I will hand in all of the necessary forms, as well as my essay to be sent to colleges. I wrote down my information confidently, and I will hand it in the same way.

Second would be the job application. When I applied to GAP Outlet, I did it as if I knew I were the best candidate. Like the college application, this falls under the category of crucial. I felt similar when I wrote up my resume. I just had to make sure that I impressed myself. Who is going to take a chance on you if you don't take a chance on yourself.

And yet another form of an application that I've had experience are those which involve the government. In order to do anything in the court system, an application must be filled out. In order to get any kind of specific reissuing of a document, you need to have the correct application. This brings me to the importance of filling out the correct application. If you need to apply for something, take your time, writing down your information may be time consuming, and needs to be taken seriously. I take these kinds of applications very seriously. Although our government may seem like a joke, when it comes to dealing with you, the citizen, they do not have any time to fool around.

And lastly, we have the only form of an unofficial application which seems to have become extinct. Years ago, before MySpace died, there was such a thing as a "Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) Application." At the time, you would post a blog, that would be visible on your profile. The title would say "Boyfriend Application," or whatever based upon your sexual orientation. This would be something that you would compose. It would be a specific variety of Yes/No questions, and short answers, based upon what you were looking for. When it came to filling out these applications, it was done with care and time.

This application was one that seemed to be a conglomerate of the other three applications. The task was to represent yourself in the best light possible. The position would be becoming this megahottie's boyfriend or girlfriend. The documentation would be the little piece on your profile that said In A Relationship, and linking the person's picture in your heroes section, and saying how much you love them.

Paper work is exactly what it sounds like: your work, on paper. It's as simple as that. It doesn't take quick wit, and beauty to make yourself known in this sector of life. All it takes is a pen and a dream.