Work

I arrived at GAP Outlet around 1:50PM. I was 10 minutes early for my shift, which was only 5 hours long.

The day started off well since I wasn't zoning or on register. I was working with most of the people I don't like, until 3 new people that I don't really know at all came in shortly after. A manager that I always have to keep in check was closing, but that's alright since I really do enjoy running the store unofficially.

I was putting away clothes when I took a moment to listen to the music. The following lyrics played:

"I hate my job."

I can't say that I hate my job at all. As a matter of fact, I am IN LOVE with my job. I am a retail whore. I live for this shit on a daily basis. A lot of what I do is so that the store is a success. Most of my coworkers do their job because they get paid. In part, I show up for the check but genuinely I do adore the customers, the hustle and bustle, and the all around knowledge of knowing I made something happen.

Now I would proclaim that I am the best at my place of employment, but that wouldn't be fair to others. I have not been told that I am the best, and several other coworkers of mine have been voted employee of the month.

I am the self-proclaimed best person at GAP Outlet. I am able to do any task well, not to mention quickly. I'm efficient in everything I do. I know the dos and don'ts.

Good guys finish last? I forgot

It looks like I'm going to be waiting a little while for the recognition that I've earned.

At least I'm not holding my breath, waiting.

Everyone Builds Credit

Today was as average as could be, I was scheduled at GAP for 4:15-7:15. A blip of a shift. I had planned to get a ride from Aneta, but she was unable to do it since she was still at work, over 20 miles away. Simply, I had no ride to work.

I even called Diane, but still, no ride available.

Around 3:30 I finally worked up the courage to call. A voice answers the phone, "Thank you for calling GAP Outlet in Rotterdam Mall. This is Stacy, I can help you." I could hear the generic happiness and enthusiasm that accompanies answering the phone there.

I was relieved when I hear Stacy's voice. I was so glad that it wasn't Hugh. Despite the fact that I am seeing him more and more as a real human being, he still intimidates the shit out of me in terms of an employee-employer relationship. I told Stacy the truth, even though I heavily contemplated faking sick. I can fake sick pretty damn good too!

She laughed and exclaimed, "It's Okay! Employee of the Month!" She called me by it as if it were my name.

I smiled and said, "But I still feel terrible, you know?!" I really did just feel terrible about the whole thing. I had never called in a day of my life until today.

She comforted me with,"Everyone builds credit. And here, you've done just that. It's completely excusable." At the time this didn't seem very comforting to me, and I continued to just spill apologies out of my mouth. Looking back on it, it meant a lot to me.

I have learned that over the course of 8 months, I've been awarded Employee of the Month which people who have been there over a year haven't even gotten. I've built friends and healthy co-worker relations. And I have established a great reference. I've sorted clearance for hours. I've done other's floor plans single-handedly. I've delivered some of the best customer service that store has ever seen. I've earned it all, by working my fucking ass off!

Seeing that I have no one to thank but myself really takes any fear of independence out of me.