EX Factor

Now that I have two exes, I can compare and contrast them. I've been taking plenty of time to think on it, and I've never been so ready to express something publicly.

Most people find the stories of how people meet to be extremely interesting. Neither of mine are noteworthy.

I met Ronnie while I was at work, in the Men's Department. I was folding jeans and I saw him walk in. I totally knew he was staring at me, and I just soaked it up. His younger sister, told me that he liked me, and asked for my number for him. I wasn't impressed that he couldn't approach me himself. I just wrote my name on a piece of paper because of it.

Stevenson and I met on Facebook. He randomly added me, so I accepted (because I accept everyone that isn't creepy). I liked one of his statuses about politics. Apparently there was a spelling error in it because about two seconds after I liked it he sent me a message letting me know he re-posted his status. I kept replying to his replies because it was so adorable how he needed an excuse to talk to me. We did have sex the first day we met in person though.

Despite my unapproachable disposition they both made a move on me. It bugs me that neither was to my face, but whatever. Stevenson wins.

"When did you meet?" always seemed to be a popular question, as well as "When did you start dating?"

I knew Ronnie for two weeks before I dated him. He asked me out (or I asked him?) on January 7, 2010 which is his birthday. It was at my house, which I didn't really mind.

On the other hand, I knew Stevenson for three weeks before we started dating. He had asked me out after I knew him for a week and a half. I then told him I'd ask him out when I was ready since I knew he just wanted to put a leash on me and I wasn't ready to lose my freedom. I asked him out a week and a half after that, May 7, 2011.

Ronnie wins, since Stevenson attempted to pressure me.

This is the one that I would would ask first about someone's relationship--"What was your sex life like?"

I'm currently having sex with Ronnie, as friends, therefore that explains itself. :)

With Stevenson, there was an issue. He wasn't as into me as I was into him. I feed off of other people's energy. And you get what you give. To be fair, I gave him more than what he gave me because he was a dead fish (and that's putting it lightly). I would just hit it and quit it. Most people wouldn't mind a sex puppet, but I'm just not that kind of girl. Like, ew.

The BEST part is, the day I broke up with him, we had been discussing our sex life. He started the conversation with "When can we have sex?" to which I replied "LOL Seriously?" Then he began with "Yea I used to have a lot of sex. It's my fault too but I need to get fucked hard, often, in different ways. We need to spice it up. I think it's very important." Well Stevenson, I'm not into necrophilia. I just replied "We need to talk" because... well that will come in the next bracket.

Congratulations Ronnie, you won the most sensitive category!

The most hesitated question when making inquiries on a break-up usually concerns how it ended. I've always hated the "Oh my God!" that generally precedes "What happened?"

I'd first like to apologize to Ronnie for not writing him a sappy, fake break-up post but that was because he actually opened up to me and we weren't acquaintances for the duration of our relationship. I broke up with him via phone call and he was heartbroken. It was within a week after the great Valentine's Day that we had. He lied to me, so I was gone.

Stevenson got an artificial break-up post since he didn't have the ladyballs to do it himself (emotions: fake; story: true). He just pushed me away until he wasn't worth the bad sex and deception anymore. I broke-up with him via text. My personal favorite part of this was his reply. All he said was "What?" And I was just like, bitch you're weighing me down, but I'm pretty sure I explained all that in my last post.

I should really win this category since I wrote both break-up stories. Stevenson wins this one because breaking up with him was literally one of the most fun things that I ever did in my whole entire life.

Everyone's a winner in this game! Especially me, since I'm getting laid, and I'm still single!

Stevenson

Yet again I have learned that someone will become a long-term character in the story that is my life. Stevenson is the latest of love interests and one of the most genuine at that.

It's been well over a year since my last real relationship (Ronnie). It's also been just over a year since I've crushed on someone hard (Sebastien). Now both are coming in the same package and I'm happy again.

I feel like myself again, now that someone has come along and shared part of my life with me. Although I may have met him only a short week or so ago, I'm smitten.

I still didn't feel like myself the first night that I drove out to Troy to see him. I didn't have that sparkle or the attitude, and my ego was dwindled nearly down to nothing. As I'm sure I have made clear, the glamour in my life is what keeps me going. My life had gone into a downward spiral of confusion. I didn't know which route to take and if I could go back to being Caesar Smithe.

Truth be told--I blame Stevenson. He gave me a reason to smile and look forward to everything whether it be work, school, or working on making him my boyfriend. We're the same type of person and I like that there is little to no competition between us.

I think he can see that I want to do this right. Stevenson knows that I've told people about us and what we've done but only he knows the happiness he given me by that.

I still feel like that insecure person that I was over the past four months. Some of the sadness and depression comes back for short waves and then I am reminded about how much I have going for me. Then I smile.

The first day that Stevenson, and I hung out my mouth began to hurt. Now don't get all perverted, because he doesn't kiss THAT aggressively. The gum on the right side of my mouth was swollen. I had checked it and the two teeth my orthodontist couldn't fix for the longest time finally closed up.

I was so happy that the next visit would be my last appointment before my braces would finally be removed. The two teeth look exactly how he said they would. They're far beyond perfect now.

Let's see how the next two weeks turn out because if I remember correctly, being someone other than Caesar Smithe was supposed to continue until Mother's Day. I still have another shopping trip that I need to get done and some more work on myself. I have yet to learn what I had intended to teach myself since I've gone back to my ways of complimenting myself in the mirror.

One of the biggest things that I needed to learn was when to set my arrogance aside. I have yet to master this with the people who have been in my life since before I decided to teach myself this lesson but I have with the new people who have come along.

Stevenson,

Right now, you drive me crazy.

Will you hold it against me?

Rebirth

There was a day when I loved who I was. I loved who I was becoming. I love every thought I had. I was so preoccupied and naive.

My friends and I were people of a very specific genre. As their personalities sharpened to fit an increasingly more specific genre mine did not. I woke up and I smelled the roses.

They were beautiful and nothing like anything that I'd ever experienced.

Usually when people test themselves they never follow through. Not I. I was going to carry thought. On January 7th (which was the day, last year that Ronnie and I started dating), I bought 7 tee shirts. I also shaved my head. I put all of my beautiful clothes in storage, and took my old Adidas sneakers out of storage. I was going back to a time when life was simple.

I have dressed up a small handful of times since then. I don't wear makeup, and I only shave once or twice a week. I've been building up a COMPLETELY brand new wardrobe. I needed to do this so that my new, revamped, not-so-fake personality would be fitting for an equally refreshing wardrobe.

I know it doesn't make much sense how this could fix my rude demeanor.

Fashion and beauty were everything that I relied on. So far in life, they had gotten me everywhere. They got me my job. They got me attention. They got me noticed. Now is a time in life where no one is rating your picture, and they don't even know what shoes you're wearing, let alone care.

I'm growing up. I'm an adult now. I may have appeared to have not changed, and my humor is still the same; I have changed. Inside I know what is real. I know what is fake. I know when to be casual and when to be reserved.

I'm a people person. Whether I chose this path, or a more lucid one, I'd still be adored. I'd rather be adored for the right reasons though. Don't get me wrong though--I love Lindsay Lohan.

I've been fixing problems in my life. I've been fixing every person I've wanted to fix things with. I've been demolishing the people who wouldn't support this side of me.

I want to be out there and in the open. Really though, I don't want that. I'm taking a new approach with people. I'm so good at reading people and reading between the lines that this new way of life has been a great transition from what was.

I'm going to be myself for what it's worth,

and it's worth the world to me.

No Phone; No Life

Coming from your typical, media-obsessed, texting-addicted, teenager, it should come to no surprise that losing my phone has broken my life, and has made my life almost impossible to live.

I had the day off, this passed Friday. I decided I would take a trip to Amsterdam, to go see Ronnie. We had went to Outrage, and before going inside I had switched jackets. I had thought nothing of this until we had gotten inside and I realized I didn't have my phone on me. Once again, I thought nothing of if and figured it was in my car, and I carelessly left it there. Leaving Outrage, and getting in the car, we had searched like crazy, for my phone. Neither him nor I found my phone.

On a quick side note, I did not go see Ronnie, because we wanted to get back together. We hung out because we were both wicked horny, and wanted someone to grind on and make-out with. His kissing hasn't improved...

ANYWAY!

When I had gotten home, I tried to tray calm and collected about losing my phone, so Aneta and King Arthur wouldn't tease me about my reaction (although, I'm sure they're find something else to tease me about).

The next day, Charles' birthday (which he decided to get a hideous tattoo for), Charles informed me that Aneta was furious about the fact that I went to Outrage, then drove home. Um, hello?! I didn't drive until like 4 hours after. Allegedly, "it was obvious, that I wasn't able to drive." Are you kidding me really? But this pussy ass bitch didn't wanna mention it in front of Kind Arthur, so I brought it up for her.

They were both against me, and I didn't even hide that I went too Outrage. They both told me how unsafe it was, and asked me to promise to never do it again (even though I never did it in the first place).

Aneta always complains that everyone thinks she's dumb, and uninformed... but the thing is, she is. She opens her fat mouth before thinking, and just goes off of her gut, which completely lacks proof, logic, and common sense.

The past three days I have felt lost. I haven't really been sure what to do with myself, and I think I might actually study or something completely lame along those lines.

Aneta just said dinner is ready, she made one of my favorites because she knows I'm the Queen of grudges. She now knows that I'm a winner, and she knows that I can't be beat. She realized she was wrong, and since she won't admit it, it appears that she's kissing my ass after I got in trouble with her.

I'm just thankful that I lack a gut to go by.

New Boots

Instead of posting this week I decided to make one post about the biggest thoughts of my week.

The oldest one in my memory is when Francois dethroned Elizabeth. Elizabeth is one of the most beautiful creatures in my school aside from myself. Her makeup is flawless and when she decides to get dressed insomething other than sweats she's a fashionista. Once my equal, she has become a fan like the rest unfortunately.

In Chemistry before the bell rang, Elizabeth stood toward the back on the room with her back to the teacher, texting. I noticed this but said nthing, but I saw Francois get up, so I looked to see what he ws doing. He informed the teacher she was texting. She then took her phone, I watched it all, live.

All in a flash, she lost her beauty, coolness, arrogance, and reassurance. It was beautiful.

Second would be a woman at GAP Outlet. She came in today seeking to update her mom look. A mother of three children was going on a date with her husband tonight and wanted to look nice for him. I aided her in her search. She was VERY successful, and satisfied. This woman tought me the impotance of looking good. It wasn't just me that thought that looking unpresentable was an issue regardless of how busy your lifestyle is. Yet, she tought me that it is excusable when ladies of her kind dress the way they do, because they desire to dress better. Thank you mother of three.

Third is that today is the day that marks one month with Ronnie. Thank you for being so great to me. I'm excited to have you as my first Valentine. Today I learned that I really do love you, and that I don't think I ever want to leave you. I'm glad we're serious, and I'm glad to know you even if things don't work out on your half.

Lastly, we would have shopping. Today I went shopping and I put some stuff on my credit card. I bought the most beautiful brown dress boots, with a fabulous little heel. My life is complete. These shoes do more than say they're beautiful, they say my denim looks expensive, and the belt matches flawless. I spent little money on them which fueled my excitement.

Being dethroned is like losing your voice in fashion like the mother of three did. And buying a pair of beautiful new boots that enhance everything about you is like having a partner that brings out the best in you.

Relationship Drama

I have been called many names before, but over the course of the past few days, I've added a few more to the list. I'm not mean, really.

On Wednesday I went over to Ronnie's house. We decided that we weren't going to be too intimate because I still didn't feel well. And as we were cuddling, we were discussing how I said that he treated me like a dog ONE TIME. But he thought I meant that I meant all the time, even though I specifically said, "It's only when you say things like, 'Ya Heard?'"

That was only the beginning...

I'm not a fan of "picking and choosing" battles, because then things get swept under the rug. So as always do, I refused to back down no matter how upset he got. He started crying and handed me some load of crap like, "I don't want you to think I treat you like that. I can't help that I say that." Just don't keep doing it, it's as simple as that. He said it at least 5 times last night, but I ignored it.

These two girls told Ronnie that I'm "conceited" and "full of myself" before he met me, and he told me, "No offense, but I can see where they're coming from." O rly?

Yesterday, Ronnie and I had a better day because we cleared the air. It was wonderful. When we were walking down the street, these two kids on bikes stopped around ten feet in front of us, and said, "Is that two guys?" And Ronnie simply said, "Yes." And when they asked, "So you're homos?" Ronnie again replied, "Yes." The kids insisted we kiss, but Ronnie and I just laughed it off, and continued on our way.

I treat this kid like gold. I always say I love you first. I always hold his hand first. I always kiss him first. I always kiss him goodbye. I always tell him different romantic things when he says, "So, tell me something." Mind you, I absolutely detest when he says that, it makes me feel like I bore him.

The other night I fell asleep on the phone with my long time Internet friend Rene. That next day Rene posted on my facebook, "I think it's funny how you always fall asleep on the phone." Ronnie got all jealous. I LET RONNIE HANG OUT WITH HIS FUCKING EX BOYFRIEND, but he doesn't want me talking to a gay boy who lives in California, and I've never dated. Thinking this is absolutely ridiculous? I am.

I'm giving Ronnie until after Valentine's day (that's a long time) to cut it out. I don't like how our relationship fluctuates every other day. I'm disappointed.

Ill, Yet Optimistic

I've been sick for a few days. It's been terrible. I have to work from six to ten tonight. I've worked 4 days in a row, I'm not used to it. I haven't seen Ronnie in a week as of today.

My nose has been conjested completely to the point that I can't even breathe out of my nose at times. At other times it's so runny that I feel like the world can see my nose turning into a waterfall. People can tell in how I act and how I look that I'm sick--it's pissing me off.

On Saturday night, Charles, Diane, Diane's sister, Abby, and myself along with other regulars at Outrage, went out to a Chinese Food Buffet when I got out of work. I was the only thin one. We went to Outrage after.

Sunday night at work was Derek's last day at work. He was moving back to Brazil, where he went to college. I had discussed what Brazil was like with him before. He has a girlfriend back there, I think it's adorable. Here I am, seeing how people CAN stand the test of time. I feel as if I am that person, I possess the patience.

Later on in my shift, I was chatting with Stacy. She is just as sick as me, and has the same opinions of it. She doesn't want people to treat her differently, or look at her differently just because she's got a cold.

I woke up late this morning, I wouldn't have been late to school if I weren't so high maintenance.

School today felt odd because it was rainy and dark all day. I ran sign-ups for the blood drive at school today. I have little homework, and as of Friday I am officially 5/8 of the way done with high school. I take the English Regents tomorrow and the next day, which will be a piece of cake.

I just had dinner. I'm going to get ready for work, and when I get home I'll just call Ronnie and go to bed. I think all I need is a little rest.

THE Life

Whenever I'm in the process of having a bad day, I think to myself, someday I'll be fabulous and my life will be my way, perfect, without outside interference.

Today after school, I had a Leo Club meeting. I asked Charles to pick me up, since I knew he was going to bring Penelope home anyways. He brought his friend Carissa home too, so I figured he would bring me home before he went to Carissa's. He refused, it was HARDLY out of the way. It was on the way if anything. He made me go with him, and hang out at Carissa's for two hours! What if there were things I wanted to do?! That's inconsiderate of you, Charles.

But I thought, I know I'll grow from this someday, and be fabulous like I previously stated.

On Sunday night, I spent the night at my Boyfriend's house. We tried to have sex for the first time with me doing "the work." I didn't enjoy it at first. Eventually, I got into it. So I figured I get him to do my favorite position. From that position, I was in more pain; I felt nauseous.

I thought to myself, I know I'll be looser eventually, and never feel this pain again, and be the ideal fabulous sex partner.

At lunch everyday I see myself: so flawless that he looks out of place when he's in high school. I know that's what people are thinking. Why is he sitting with them. I'm sitting there being the coolest, and we all know it. But when we talk, they still act like losers and embarrass me because they're so loud, and obscure.

I get through it by knowing that someday, I'll reselect new friends who will always be who I want around, tolerable. The perfect, flawless, puppet-doll friend.

So when I tell you my hardships, you'll understand what I've been waiting for my whole life. I'm waiting for my life to finally start. I don't just want a life, I want THE life.

Sex & Co.

On Tuesday evening my boyfriend, Ronnie came over. He met Aneta and Charles, and had dinner with us. It was a perfect evening.

That day at school was a long one, as I described to you before. I was exhausted, and felt like nothing in this whole world could turn around my day. Little did I know that I would be proved wrong.

When Ronnie got here, it was 5PM. He has gotten here late because his sister, Sammi, was still a little unsure of how to get to my house. I had been waiting at the door for a few minutes, when he arrived. When he walked in, I took his coat, and Aneta was there so I couldn't kiss him immediately. As soon as she left, I embraced his kiss.

We went down stairs for a little while. We chatted about my room, our days, and how we felt about one another. Once that was out of the way, we cuddled and watched some TV. That led to kissing, and clothing removal. He slowly unbuttoned my red, plaid shirt as he straddled me, topless. Our pants were off in the blink of an eye, and before I knew it I could feel my dick against his as we kissed. I could feel my skin against his.

I felt his dick, uncircumcised; which I don't normally go for, but I thought it was really sexy. I performed some oral sex which put him in pure ecstasy. He loved it. He pushed my head down as he moaned. He came quickly. I'm good at what I do... what can I say.

After that he was going to start me off, but we had to go eat dinner. Aneta made Chicken Parm, it was delicious.

When we went back to my room clothes flew and sexual tension was through the roof. He offered to suck me off, but I declined, because I knew I could get more. He offered to have sex even though we were going to wait. Let me tell you, I fucked him real good. He was just as into it as I was. It was perfect sex. Later that night I blew him a second time--now he's thoroughly impressed.

Charles brought him home and we went to Taco Bell before that for a little snack. I kissed him goodnight outside his apartment. From the second his lips left mine, I missed him.

No, I'm not in love. But for the first time I think I might be on my way...

Not A Happy Camper

Today isn't even over, and it was filled with what-the-fuck moments. Ronnie is coming over in about an hour. I was supposed to have the best day ever, but instead it was filled with drama and unnecessary distractions.

This morning was a great one, I got ready with plenty of time to spare. First period went by swell. As did second period, where I started a sculpture which is looking superb.

It was time for third period: Chemistry. Today we took notes, as usual. But the girl who sits to my right, Stephanie, wasn't here, so one of the hottest guys at our school Francois, sat to my right. As he took notes I couldn't help but notice him lift up his shirt and lightly rub his smooth stomach. I looked over again, and as he took notes, his hand casually lingered into his pants. His left hand was now almost all the way in his pants, I could see his hip bone. I began to get excited and shocked.

I opened my phone and began to write a tweet.

I look over again, and now, his left hand from the wrist down was completely in his pants. Our Chemistry teacher wasn't a work of art by any stretch, keep in mind. His hand moved to the center of his pants, I could tell he was massaging his dick. I was getting a little hot and bothered because I had several sexual fantasies about him before. I must admit, I have a boyfriend, and I feel guilty.

Later, I was caught in the hallway, using my cell phone. Lieutenant Frump got all up in my grill. She began her spiel with, "Does that show integrity?" as she always does. She raised her hand slightly above her head and told me, "You were here." She moved her hand down several inches, and said "Now you're here. You're not fabulous anymore." What a condescending cunt. How dare you say something like that to me. She has a ton of jealously built up in her. She condones the use of other electronics though--double standard. I collected my phone from the office later in the day.

When I got home I was a little on edge. Aneta said she wanted some help. I said yes, as I always do. But she was like "Don't go down stairs just yet, you're not going to get off the hook." I wasn't trying to get off the hook you moron, I was bringing my books to my room. Do you mind?! Think before you speak, please.

Ronnie is coming over shortly, and I don't want him to see me in such a mood. I miss him so much, and I've been looking forward to this for the past 5 days. I don't want to pretend to be happy. I think Ronnie will be able to brighten my mood regardless. I can't wait for his embrace.

In whole, whenever I try my best to have a great day because I've been anxious for something, it fucks me over miserably.

Caesar + Ronnie

Last night I went over to Ronnie's house, in Amsterdam. This would be the first time that I'd seen him since your attraction to one another at the GAP. I was extremely anxious, especially since our conversations via text message and late phone call have gotten a little intimate.

This would be the first time I've actually had a real "love interest" since that ass hole from Rotterdam, Garret, that I hooked-up with. I was excited. He's Puerto Rican, and I couldn't wait to be with someone who wasn't white.

When I arrived around 5PM, he stood outside his house waiting. Aneta and Madame Dupont dropped me off, and were clearly staring to see what he looked like. He looked just like his photos, and exactly how I remember him at the GAP. I could feel the intimacy with our eye contact. I could tell how he felt, and how his mood was just from gazing into his eyes, and initiating conversation.

He led me into the first floor apartment that he and his sister, Roxanne, live in. The first room I saw was the kitchen, the whole house seemed slightly empty, but it was pretty clean from what I could tell. As we talked our tones got slightly more alluring, and seductive. He got closer, resting his hands on my hips, hugging me, and said, "I'm really glad you're here." From there he went in for the kiss. I wanted to be in control, so I turned my face slightly to the left, so that he just his the corner of my lips. He smiled awkwardly, and showed me the rest of the apartment, and then to his room.

We laughed and talked for some time while watching the History Channel on his bed. Being his birthday, and a control carving person, like myself, he said that he'd only kiss me, again if I sang him Happy Birthday. Keep in mind, he told me this about half an inch away from my face.

I declined his offer telling him that he wouldn't be able to resist me. He stopped holding my hand, that's how persistent he got. Finally, I gave in and sang the song. I leaned in to kiss him with full on tongue, surprising him, and making him VERY happy. I'm good at what I do. We spooned, kissed, and dry humped a little, almost naked in his bed for a while before his friends came over. In the act we had become boyfriends officially. Happy Birthday to you Ronnie!

While his friends were there, we had our own night of Outrage, and we drank.

On the way home I got touchy-feely in the backseat of his sister's Pontiac. We made out the entire way home grouping each other's you-know-whats. It was pretty fair in size. We arrived at my house, he kissed me in the driveway, romantically.

I went inside, and rest assured, Aneta and Madame were there. WAITING. They saw, and they knew that for the first time, I had real hope in a relationship. I was under the influence of lust.

Bonjour 2010!

I am back from my trip, and off of Winter Break.

That night Rachel and I picked up movies, I Love You Man, and The Hangover. We went to the hot tub at Outrage, and could hardly focus. We had a blast. It was one of the best nights I'd ever had at Outrage.

The next day, December 31, we slept in. We watched Jersey Shore, and watched the cast of Jersey Shore host a New Year's TV special on MTV. Despite the fact that we didn't go to Outrage, or any fabulous parties, I had a great time celebrating the New Decade with my best friend.

As I enter a new year, I don't feel it. I shouldn't expect to feel anything anyways. It's the same with birthdays, no matter how liberating the age, it's nice to know, but it doesn't feel any different. That day we went to New York City, you already know my sentiments on that! Later, we watched I Love You Man, and returned the videos that night. We later went out to a 24-hour Starbucks with Rachel's friend, Helen. She was cool, but I'm telling you--she's got more drama that any person I've ever seen on Jerry Springer.

The following day, January 2, we went to Garden State Plaza--the most fabulous mall I have ever stood in to date. This mall had everything: Nordstrom, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Sanrio, American Apparel, Juicy Couture, Macy's, Nordstrom, Forever 21... the list is ENDLESS. We were almost late getting me to my bus stop! But I got home, and met a stanger on the bus too.

The next two days consisted of normal routine, The GAP and school. I've been talking to Ronnie more also. I'm going to his house on Thursday. We're most likely going to hook-up. I sure hope so at least. Not to get serious and stuff, but it would be nice to have a boyfriend. Sometimes being beautiful doesn't mean anything if you're single.

Greetings, Gays, and the GAP.

This evening at the GAP was one of the best nights I think I've ever had. Being after the holidays, the store happened to be in great condition, and I was closing for the first time in a while. A guy named Christian who had started there when he was my age, and one of the best managers there, Stacy, were closing with me. I looked fabulous and my make-up was still as fresh as it was at 1, when I came in. I also had a surprise lunch with Beyonce, better known as Sasha Fierce.

Initially when meeting Christian, I didn't like how he could give me a taste of my own sarcasm. He was cute too, but not as put together as myself. We warmed up to one another quickly after. I am slightly bothered that Stacy might like him more, and she liked me before he came back. We made fun of a woman in a wheel chair who wore sunglasses, and planned to bomb the store in the fitting rooms after closing. But meeting Christian was like meeting myself, gay and all--but not the current man of interest surprisingly.

Earlier in the day, around 3 or 4, I was just floating on the floor making sure things were tidy, and up to par. I was then approached by a woman who I remembered because she came in with a really cute, apparently gay, boy, who had a blond Mohawk, which to my surprise is multicultural, if you know what I mean. After establishing the fact that I'm gay (which was the hardest, and to me funniest, part for his friend Naomi), she asked for my number for him. Since he didn't approach me himself, I left him with my name to look me up on facebook. Haha, Internet, thanks for letting me establish a relationship from a distance. We will call this boy Ronnie.

I looked amazing today also. Despite being as sick as a dog, my style and visage were right on target. I looked great, my make-up was nice and smooth, my freshly washed outfit was crisp and flawless, they were painted on me with masculine precision. Everyone noticed, and realized, it was nice.

I hung out with Diane, and went to Outrage, it would have been better had Charles been home. But we had fun for the most part. I saw Ronnie on Facebook, and he has his nipples pierced which is a little off, but his tummy is so smooth, I'm gonna get him quick and easy. And I don't even know if I want to see Christian again, I love and hate him. I just know he's equally confident, which won't work, because I need to be that one in the relationship, but he's fucking fine as hell! I'm still in Outrage now, Diane left, and Charles is on his way I think, but he probably works tomorrow.

That's the GREAT DAY of Greetings, Gays and the GAP.